Question:

How do I balance my wedding wishes with those of the in-laws?

So you’ve been busy planning the perfect wedding for some time. It’s your special day wit your sweetie, and you want to make sure everything is just right. And then you realize that there is a third party that wants to have their ideas implemented as well. They are the in-laws. How will you tell them that their ideas are not what you had in mind? How will you balance what they want with what you want?

While it will be your wedding and always will be, your perfect wedding day will most likely include others too. Your in-laws will become an integral part of your wedding since they are your groom's parents. Learning how to successfully balance your wants with the wants of your in-laws now will greatly ease the stress and prevent future headaches.
First things first, recognize your assumptions
 
Do not automatically assume that suggestions from others are intended to sabotage what you want. This includes any advice from your in-laws. Many people offer ideas in hopes of supporting you to have the best wedding day possible, no matter how far fetched the suggestion may seem.
Next, check those assumptions at the door
 
How you talk is one of the key factors that will determine how your balancing act will go. The way you say a phrase will affect how people receive and perceive the information. Empathy and tact go a long way when it comes to diffusing possible areas for disagreement between you and your in-laws. Consider your body language, your voice tone, and what your facial expressions are saying.

Validating without committing: everyone wants to be validated. There are a number of ways to phrase what you say to validate the thoughts of others without committing yourself to those suggestions.
Consider the following:
 
  • "What do you think about _____",
  • "I'd love your thoughts on _________",
  • "Thank you so much for sharing them with me",
  • "I'm definitely going to consider your ideas"
  • "They all sound so great/helpful/useful, I'm going to seriously have to think this through"